Stop, Listen, Engage: The Fix for Clueless and Stuck Communicators
Stop, Listen, and Engage
In a previous post (May 9, 2025), we explored two common communication styles: The Assumer and The Hijacker. Let’s add two more to the list—personalities that can stall or sabotage conversations without even realizing it.
1. The Clueless Communicator
Carrie is excited to talk about her recent luxury vacation. But Debbie, her colleague, can’t afford to travel this summer—and Carrie hasn’t considered how her story might land.
“We had the most unbelievable vacation! Five-star hotel, gourmet dinners every night!”
That may be honest enthusiasm, but it lacks listener awareness. A better approach might be:
Carrie: We had a great time on our vacation.
Debbie: I’m happy to hear that. (Debbie is not engaging with additional questions)
Carrie: Are you enjoying the summer so far?
By softening her message and inviting a response, Carrie shows emotional intelligence and sensitivity. The takeaway? “Read the room.” Communication is not a performance—it’s a relationship.
2. The Stuck Communicator
John greets Mike at a networking event:
John: Hi. How are you?
Mike: Fine. (dead-end conversation.)
Mike misses a chance to connect. Here’s a better approach:
Mike: Hi, what brings you to this event? John: I came to hear the speaker.
Mike: What have you heard about him?
Open-ended questions—those that start with who, what, where, when, why, or how—spark dialogue. They demonstrate curiosity and make conversations easier and more engaging.
💡 Key Takeaways for Better Conversations
Think about your listener’s perspective.
Ask yourself: How will this make them feel?
Avoid monologues—it’s not just about you.
Be curious: Use open-ended questions to keep conversations flowing.
Next time you engage with someone, ask yourself:
Am I a Clueless Communicator or a Stuck Communicator?
Do you want to communicate with confidence, clarity, and credibility?
Reach out to me at LKWilner@successfully-speaking.com to learn how to Speak, Sound, and Look like a Leader.