Holiday Conversations: Are We Talking… or Truly Listening?

As we enter the heart of the holiday season, many of us will gather around tables, living rooms, and phone calls with people we care about. We often say we are “catching up,” but are we genuinely listening—or simply waiting for our turn to talk?

Think back to Thanksgiving.

-Did you find yourself doing most of the talking?
-Were you waiting for the other person to finish so you could share your own story?
-Did you jump in with interruptions or “one-ups” about your own experiences? -Did people give you a chance to talk? -Did you give up trying to talk due to the rapid-fire talking by everyone around you?

Listening is one of the most strategic communication skills we can bring into any personal or professional relationship. A strong listener makes their conversation partner feel seen, heard, and valued. And that is a gift!

Tips to Strengthen Your Listening Skills This Season

Do more of this:
• Maintain eye contact.
• Ask questions that invite more than a yes or no.
• Stay curious.
• Follow up with questions that show genuine interest.
• Listen for meaning—not just for your next response.

Avoid these common pitfalls:
• Interrupting or finishing someone’s sentence.
• Redirecting the conversation back to yourself.
• Looking around the room or tracking other conversations.

A Holiday Reflection

When you get home after a gathering, ask yourself:

Did I learn anything about the other person that I didn’t know before?

If the answer is no, consider how you might approach the conversation differently next time.

The legendary Larry King once said, “I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.”

This season, may we all show up with a little more curiosity—and a lot more listening.

Reach out to me at LKWilner@successfully-speaking.com  if you have any questions about your communication skills.

Happy Holidays, and stay curious!